Monday, March 12, 2012

The Smarties in School

I am not sure if things like this still happen at schools. But then, yearly twice – these useless medical talks took place. The girls marched alone to a library or a classroom. A real boring looking doctor (mostly lady) came and explained about cycles, bikes and all that. We pretended to listen, and missed a period (math period only). The boys sat back in class working out (algebra).

“I told you da, that maths sir is always partial to girls” cribbed Badam Ram.

It is a day after March 8th, let’s just assume 1996 or so. My recent second best enemy is now Ram .Please don’t get me wrong – I had nothing for him or against math at that age. I just could not handle the word partiality for this issue. It is a shame, and you will know why.

After exactly 45 minutes of lecturing, we were stuffed with a packet of you know what in neatly pink ribbon tied blue packets. All of us have had family induction sessions, and knew the story. Most loved being innocent and acted hush about it. On the other hand, there were people like Podi Priya ( as in paripu podi) and yours truly who liked calling a pad as a pad (exam pads included).

So, our conversation went something like this.

Badam Ram: Hey, what are you girls having in your hand?
Hush Girls: GO da, we won't tell you. It is for girls only. Not for boys
Nameless boys: As if, we are interested…As if!
Badam Ram: Hey, I think I know da..come here….( forms a gumbal)
Hush Girl Leader: Hey, okay…I will tell you ram, but you have to promise you wont tell anyone. Promise okay…This is a chocolate only for girls.
Huge amounts of oohhss, aahs and smirks. Priya gives a nasty look and says – Dai,  that is a pad da.
The ultimate me adds on – and, you can’t play cricket with it da.

Badam Ram pulls it from us, turns to his group of cricket buddies – Dai, evangulke theriyala. Adhu whisper! ( he says, in anything but a whisper)

*facepalm* BIG TIME MOKKAI!

Podi priya is from gult land, and always bought the most spicy paripu podis to school. I almost fell in love with her mom.
Badam Ram is my own name for a cashewnut. I do not like cashews, except in katlis.
gumbal - crowd, huddle as in cricket terms
evangulke theriyala - they are dumb.
MOKKAI - Er..dog bite. A systematic disorder of the human mind resulting in untimely spasms of meaningless words often having deeply anchored second meanings. Can also be used to describe a scenario where a party almost dog bites another's ears.

This post is heavily inspired by the total my previous post - The S(w)treet Love Proposal and a Veg puff and by a recent conversation with podi priya.

I realised there are way too many brackets here. Sorry ya!

24 comments:

  1. hahahahahahahahahaha.........OMG! This is so funny! Especially the transalations!!!
    My tummy still aches....Loved this :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. And I was still thinking if it is too silly! Thanks :) ur comment made the rest of my day!

      Delete
  2. Podi Priya! I read the Podi not as powder but as the colloquil verson of "Go re". You know what I'm talking about?

    What nicknames! What was yours? :P

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Added info, for enlightenment:) I had a dozen of them. Most famous was Auto Archana - because my laugh was always like a auto starting...he he..!

      Delete
  3. Haha, hillarious post, Archana! Love the way you write. Love the nicknames too.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Creativity happens when you sit a monday evening at work :) Thanks!

      Delete
  4. Yes. You made me laugh today! I thought this post was on my request :) Then got to know you just wrote it! I like the Tamil conversation you put up. Too good!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Haiya, it is on request only. I would never have written on such embarrassing stuff, you know :)

      Delete
    2. And you know, the moment before I got the RSS feed, I messaged my friend 'Tamil romba miss pantaen'! Felt good!

      Delete
  5. Hahhahahah , great one , Light and the right reading for one who does not want to start a Tuesday mornign at office.

    ReplyDelete
  6. LOL..lovely read..and I too read podi Priya as po di..:-)

    ReplyDelete
  7. I understand Tamil which made the translations even more fun :D

    And this post has me snorting in the middle of the night :P

    ReplyDelete
  8. Hilarious post - and almosr similar story here too!
    And goodness the conservative girls ... their way of asking if I have had my periods : "Nee adhe use pannuviya de?".. innovative I say.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Truly!I have had these too :P. Curious, vambu I say!

      Delete
  9. Hilarious post Auto Archana, just what I needed after a tiring day at work. Can we expect more in the same vein?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. May be :) I always thought I suck at humour! Thanks!

      Delete
  10. Ha ha ha ha :D

    I am ROFL..this post reminded me of my school days!!!

    ReplyDelete
  11. Hey Archana,
    thanks for the follow...you are tagged! :-)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hey Uma,Thanks for the tag :) Will surely do it by this week!

      Delete
  12. Ha ha ha.... all of us have encountered one or two of these if we had a co-ed schooling. Reminded me of the silly issues that I faced in school.

    Keirthana

    ReplyDelete

I love your comments. Say it out, don't be shy!