Tuesday, June 10, 2014

Desi Midget, yea that's me.

I didn’t realise I was a short one until I turned 24. Until I moved out of home and lived with people who were gracious enough to point it out to me. Don’t imagine me as kid – I am not. I am around the same height as Mila Kunis (ya, that’s how I want you to think) but really I am not how it looks on her.

I mean, some people know to carry anything with elegance; clearly it’s not one of my gifts. I can’t carry a tote with elegance, damn it.

Being a short girl is easy. It wasn't an issue until articles like these started making rounds. I don’t have any of those advantages. My shoe sizes are on par with tall ones. No one finds excuses to touch me unnecessarily and gets away with it. Irrespective of one’s height, if a human becomes a hippo – it shows. This brings me to think who writes articles like these. I mean, they should conduct a survey of sorts among short ones. May be, even categorise as really short ones, just –right-short ones because the problems really vary. The short Indian woman is not exactly petite – she is just vertically challenged, many times horizontally well endowed.

Anyway, I thought I will make a list of the advantages of being a short person. A real list with no out of world stuff, like shopping in kids section!

 Leg Room – This is the BIGGEST advantage I can think of. I travel on budget airlines mostly and crib if       there isn’t any leg room (wrong, I know). Seeing 6 feet men struggle with limited spaces is fun.

We don't bend – I have never bent my head to pass under low ceilings, branches, temple doors etc. 

Can sleep anywhere – My feet have never hung over a bed, ever.

Always 'young' – Ok, this is an unfair advantage. Humans tend to associate height with growing up, so for some reason I am always mistaken to be younger than I actually am. Personally, I think I look just about right but hey, no complaining on this.

Cooking is an adventure – In this house, most of my groceries are on overhead shelves. I climb up on the counter almost every day. This is exactly how it looks! Ya, laugh aloud.

I can think of one disadvantage – tall girls look better in a sari. I look like a misplaced midget wearing a sari.

Tuesday, June 3, 2014

Write like no one is reading, because no one really is ?

I guess this is a good time to start writing again on this blog page.

They say one must dance like no one is watching.To me, it makes little sense because I dance ( or do whatever I call as dance) for people to see how I do and probably joke about it for a century. The whole logic of do it like no one is judging is so untrue and tad disappointing. I mean, what's in it for drama queens?. Anyway, I digress. I want to write like no one is reading. Because, that is mostly the case. It is a good time to begin.

To be honest with you, yes you the sole single reader - my writing habit has never been this bad. I don't even write meeting notes anymore. I am afraid if my english teacher will commit suicide on hearing how pathetic my grammar has plummeted to. I blame this country and its obsession with speaking pathetic english to all my woes. Much like writing, reading has taken a terrible backseat. Now, unlike most bloggers I follow - I do not devour books by a day.I am a fast reader, but I am also a lazy one. So, I will sit and mull around my book, reading it all over the place. It takes me time to digest, think and absorb all that I read and I like doing it the slow, vintage way. Speaking of words like these, I sound almost like that angelic girl who wears paisely printed shirts and walks delicate. Ah hell, I am much better.

So, the story is here. Writing - english miss suicide levels. Reading - Don't get the kindle 'kindling' guilt level.

Other than these, life has been a bitch. I mean, how else does one explain all this in less than six months?

Heart break - Check! (don't ask me about it)
Sick on a vacation - Check! ( India trip, ahem)
Lost something expensive - Check! (The iPhone was stolen during India trip)
Got something expensive into repair - Oh yes Check! ( I got another brand new iPhone and that damn thing stopped working in 4 months)
Almost lost a leg or an arm - Check! ( Baring drama, I met with a couple in 2014 already)
Paying up for a mistake you didn't do - Check! ( Apple refuses warranty and accuses me of tampering a new phone. I am short of crying now)

It is sad and amazing how little things can add up to a heavy issue. Of all the lessons living abroad has taught me, the key lesson is to expect uncertainties. I should do a post on the other lessons, not in a preachy kind of way but more of a I have been there, done that and it was crap kind of way.

I am just glad there isn't a mouth piece on this blog that throws up abuses for being such a fair weather miss.