I may not be competent enough, age wise to write on this. But as a representative of a generation of women that is struggling among men and motherhood, I have something to say. These are purely my views based on years of living with men, and mothers. It can be very contradictory, idiotic and refreshing to hear.
There are enough scriptures to speak on the duality of mankind - the symbolization of a man in a woman and a woman in a man. Somehow my last few days have been drowned in identifying the innate women tendencies in manly men. When I say tendencies, I only mean the inner thoughts - like motherhood.
I have noticed feminism in many men, and have seen them explicitly portray it. It is sadly been seen today as a cross over their attitudes, and men are labelled "soft", if not gay. We have some inhibitions in our head, that needs to be desperately broken. It should be found okay to have a guy mother a baby. I am not talking about changing diapers or dropping them off in school. I am talking about staying with his spouse when she delivers, not due to medical compulsions but due to a inner pull that makes him want to see the child. I am not talking about giving roses on valentine day or buying a teddy bear. It is about holding the ladle when she cannot. Oh, I am not giving a lecture on modern men who share household duties. I am telling about not making it a duty, but making it a way of life.
A very childish thought: When it is okay to have a manly woman ( the one who can work night shifts and earn - technically, manly stuff) , why is it not okay to have a womanly man ( the one who will sew my button when my little one rushes to school)?
I was put to thoughts when my sister recently delivered a girl child, and her husband was asked to be out of the room when she fed the baby for the first time. Why is motherhood restricted to women? Because only she can hold the womb, or because men are not competent?
Feminism and manliness - One area where I am thoroughly clueless... While I appreciate the fact that there are traits that belong exclusively to a gender, there are more implied by the society that makes things more complicated than they should be! You see, your sis' hubby was "ASKED" to stay out... What kind of society is this that would not let a man see his woman when he feels the need to be with her? Is this culture? or manners? I'd say, its b#!!$hit!
ReplyDeleteWonder how Ayn Rand would have felt had she lived in current day Chennai ;)
"I am not talking about giving roses on valentine day or buying a teddy bear. It is about holding the ladle when she cannot"
ReplyDeleteBang On lady!
"When it is okay to have a manly woman ( the one who can work night shifts and earn - technically, manly stuff) , why is it not okay to have a womanly man ( the one who will sew my button when my little one rushes to school)?"
Amen to that!
@Prathap
ReplyDeleteI wonder how I missed that one. The society is sick, and we decide to live in it forever conveniently cuddled in its idiosyncracies!
@ Anu
Thanks. Feels awesome to see someone I admire much say that! Loved your nutrition quiz girl!
Very true, though I dont think being sensitive is a womanly trait! I find almost all men I know ultra-sensitive, and that doesn't make them less manly or more womanly!
ReplyDeleteLater on in one of your posts, I loved the example of shiva being the most masculine figure known to us despite being an ardhanareeshwaran! Very interesting fact!