Monday, April 6, 2009

When my blood soared........

Blood Boils!

This post is on anger. It was penned at a time when my red cells got better off the white and I decided to unleash the devil within. It is to say that my blood boils when I think of such things. More so voraciously ebbs when it happens to me. I was recently stomped over by a group of over fifteen men. Sounds fantastic and unbelievable? Read on.

It was a boring weekday. I was in early for the day and I was reading through my daily mails, blog, social networking sites etc. I happened to see this post on a popular community. A guy had asked for a partner to go to a movie with. Honestly ask me, I don’t find anything wrong in this. There is a guy, who wants to go to a movie with someone. And I noticed people had responded back asking if he was trying to get a date! I was dumb – level headed and optimistic when I wrote back – Why not? We can go to a movie! And that’s when I realized that Bal Thackeray has his virtual counterparts! (I am absolutely not political. No Offences).

What followed was a stream of responses from varied souls strolling across. People told I was wrong. People told I am searching for a guy. People told I lack culture. People told my husband (read in future) was unlucky. People told, well, very admirably and cowardly that I am like a call girl. People told they feel dirty to be on that community.

And I, the poor little girl who believed with her leveled head that it was fine to go to a movie cried. Yes, I wept. I had tears because I was offended. I had tears because people were hitting the core of my moral values. And like a proper cultural girl – I wept. That is what we are all supposed to do, right? And I did just that. Not for 1 but for about 20 minutes. And then I shook myself out of the world, and asked one fair question to the poor little girl in me – “Am I Wrong?” Simple, but fair! And I answered in negative. So I posted back.

I screamed I have got my own morals. I warned them to stop policing. I pleaded them to examine their hearts. I cried my hands out on the keyboard. And like all those cows that chew on fodder – they continued to munch. And I continued. That’s when my gray cells started ticking. And I wrote back asking if one girl going out with a guy is a problem – then why can’t we organize a meet? I thought it was fair. I thought we were still strangers who could meet one day. I thought it was all fine.

Then I realized I was wrong. When one of those lurking guys asked openly on a forum – “Where will Ms.X (censored) in the movie hall amongst 20 guys?” Close to 15 so called men, the so called race of strength, thought and power responded speculating about me. The minute I read that, was when blood boiled. A Tsunami of Emotions. A Plethora of Thoughts. A Time When Blood Shrivels And Still Boils. A Fit of Rage. And then I Exploded.

The poor little girl suddenly got into a sense of complete admiration of self. I could not get myself to imagine how ruthless men are. It is at such moments the feminist in me blooms and gets out. I feel like trashing (read as to be put in trash) the entire gender. I feel like slapping that lurker and take away whatever may be called as manliness in all of them. And I am in all admiration of self.

Then people started pouring in with their responses. Some argued for me. Some wanted to applaud the effort taken to protect culture. I was aghast. I ask – What is the name of culture and community, when a girl cannot talk to a guy? Is this what we are all giving to our generations? Are we going to tell our children that everyone is wicked and mean? I fail to understand, and I regret the state of our being.

I have some questions unanswered. What are we doing here? Building a society where we lose human values of plain understanding and well being, and uphold traditions? So, such a girl is deemed not cultural enough, and not good enough, or in their terms – “not worthy enough for a marriage”? If it is so – then so be it. I would rather be a good, wonderful living being than be tied down to a male chauvinist who thinks his wife was created just to satiate his physical and emotional needs. To all those men out there, who even for a fraction of a second – think, thought or will think they can suppress a lady and can make her emulate their ideologies – Here it is a Brick Bat! And yes – To all those men, who are not one among them – Be Glad. It is not AIDS, not Cancer that kills- but it is this attitude! Be Glad you don’t have the disease.

Getting back to my post, the fight went on until the guy who created the post, decided to vanish. He went away, probably out of guilt (Let me assume it that way). It was like news for everyone. My profile had over for 2000 plus visits. One of those gentle me(a)n created a fake profile and decided to be my PRO to garner these visits. The whole exercise took over 2 days. I have a lot of souls to thank for. The one who first rose his voice against. The one who continuously fought for the cause ( not for me). The one who quietly decided to create a fake profile for me ( Wow! I appreciate that. Look at our state – even to support, we have a need to fake). The one who still talks with me with loads of gusto. The couple of good GUY friends I made. And finally – after a month – I received a white flag for peace. No prizes for guessing who it was! It was the one person who wanted to wave a flag. Thanks Pal! Bouquets and Brickbats Awaited!

(Names not provided in order to make sure no one feels offended, guilty or even slightly upset on seeing it. I believe my words are more than enough to do that and more. Does anyone miss the names? )

1 comment:

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