Friday, June 13, 2008

A Scoripion's Sting

Inside a singing soul....
Rings a bell of solitude.....
The heart that bore unbounded love.....
Is Sour with lust.....
Fallen for a scorpion...
Left the song in distress...

Mighty sun has an eclipse....
Oh, What am I to ponder??
Only when love matures
Does it show its hues...

For why is a screen of mirage
Mid of water?

Said I am the worst - makes me think

Was I given the best?

7 comments:

  1. "The heart that bore unbounded love.....
    Is Sour with lust.....
    Fallen for a scorpion...
    Left the song in distress"

    Brilliant lines...the choice of words have been put to gud use...and the feel of the poem is amazing....

    "Was I given the best?"
    A ques that lurks almost everyone's mind...The bottom line is...ur r the best..dnt think abt if ur getin wats best...now,wait did that make sense :P

    Cheers
    Tee

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  2. Lakshman SutraveJune 15, 2008 at 2:11 AM

    These are some finest lines I am reading, and hope this is not gender specific lol! But I think it is a lesson of life, in fact the first lesson of life on how people betray. The first few days’ impression is different, and then comes the shocks!! (Idi, minnal, puyal, mazhai...Naraiya padathula pathirukken)...Nice blog...Keep writing often..

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  3. Thanks Tee!

    This is my first attepmt to write a poem. This has been saved on my mobile as drafts for days together. Just got around to blog it up.

    The question that lurks me is quite universal I guess! And as said always, lets console ourselves!

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  4. Lakshman!!

    Thanks for stopping by here.And nope, they are not gender specific!
    You have been seeing too many movies lately, I guess!

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  5. A wee bit late to comment, but nevertheless:

    Guns exploded in me
    But I chose to gave light
    Said the sun
    Of the new founded plight

    Eclipsed it was
    Till I changed my view
    And all the light
    Came back to my view
    Then did I realize
    That all that mattered
    Was the point of view
    Protecting the spectrum, the range, the hue

    The mirage brought me
    One with my desire
    Reaffirmed my goal
    The burn, the fire

    As lime it was sour
    A honey drop did pour
    The solitude dissolved
    The scorpion left
    The rythm returned
    Overcoming the bells of solitude
    Again, the song I hummed

    P.S.: Brilliant brilliant choice of words.

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  6. Its pretty mature stuff for first attempt.. :)
    Last two lines say a lot..

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    Replies
    1. Thank you Neha.I have written some more, and they lie in drafts. Will post soon ;)

      Delete

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