Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Thank You!

With waves lapping at my feet, breeze tearing apart my locks, sands playing around my toes I was immersed in whiffing at the seaside air when I noticed a crab drifting away from the waves to the dunes nearby. Minutes later, I saw the wave move towards the crab's dune. The crab seemed to be in a conversation with the wave. Constantly lapping, and caressing each other. Seemed so beautiful. So Complete. And that set me thinking....What follows is a train of thoughts that took over me. Since then, I became two personalities - One thinking. Another Observing the Thinking One.

As much as i am proud, I am afraid of thinking of you, or talking to you much now days. Probably, it is because you have grown so much, that I am finding it difficult to address you easily. For the kind of knowledge, ability you possess, you ought to be living a better life. If this is what you feel, try and find who does not look at a better life. Everyone in the world wants a better life. A better job, a better salary, a better phone, a better wallet, a better house. These are all the "better's" we address in life. There are some other the not addressed better's. Lets look at some of them now. A better life partner, A better mother, A better family, A better self, A better life with a better society. These become some of the better's that you do not really voice out. Here I take the time to address them all, call them all, and to tell them all - that I needed a better in these aspects of life. A better way of living -by acknowledging the self. Thank You.


Life has shown me some beautiful pathways, quite rugged and rocky, but certainly smooth enough to protect my feet. Else, in places where it could not protect my feet, it gave me slippers to walk on, or pointed towards a softer moss to step up on. To show my gratitude, to say a heartfelt thanks to you, to make sure you reach the bottom of the heart and pull a strand of muscle from there, that stretches itself in gratitude to this life, that has made you what you are today, that has shown you to be what you are. Here I take the time to thank that life, that has made me walk safe amidst all slush and dirt.A safe journey, with enough bruises, that would heal in a day. Thank you.

My being so far, has been mostly good, and partly not so good. There are so many out there, whose beings have been partly so good, and mostly bad. I look upon all of them as teachers, as seniors in life - who have experienced something that I have not, and I probably would never do so. Let me take the time to think of one of them today, recall the life's lesson I learn there, and the trial that senior faced, that i would not or did not face yet. Let me dedicate a minute to that misery that passed that soul and the ripples it caused. Most importantly, let me make a constant and enduring effort to realize the way the system of life jumped back to normalcy and created harmony. Here I take the time to reach out to the past, to embrace it and to look at it as a memory. A friend's milestone to walk back to, sit for a while and dust and walk from on. Thank you.

When my being came into existence, I had no worries to carry. No baggage's to hold, except the tiny frail body and lots of dreams - unmeasurable, but priceless. As much as I grew aged, The force that was sent within to pursue never let a wrinkle pass by. It evolved into what it could, took what it should and became a sense of being within. That invisible source was never called for, never told to go through any course of education because all the while it never deviated from its path of serving me. Here I take the time to salute that spirit within, the powerful, mighty ray that runs through me and has made me to what i should be today. Thank You.

The list of such thankful notes shall extend till my being knows to think. To think, to reason, to analyse and to take decisions, to cry, to laugh, to feel, to smile, to hug, to kiss, to express, to be able to make love, give affection, show care, feel compassion - and above all, to live and not exist - there is a last person to thank a person. My Self. To that wonderful and passionate creature that finds happiness, joy and shares peace, looks at mistakes with the eye of a baby and immediately gets up and smiles at it . To that creation of Almighty - Thank you.

In the life of a Prostitute

After I decided to blog back, I have been thinking on what I should possibly right. A lot many things have happened in the recent few months, that am finding it hard to begin with. I was recently a part of the International Film Festival, organised by InKo Centre at Satyam Cinemas.

It was a visual treat and a platter offered for thought. Most films revolved around women and portrayed, what can be called as bold indulgence of thoughts. They were subtle, strong and splendid in their own might.

To mention in particular, there was a film titled - "In the Flesh" directed by Bishakha Datta. This 53 minute feature film speaks about prostitutes and their lives. Since knowledge, for reasons unknown and unexplored, the life of a prostitute has always fascinated me.

The endurance she carries herself with, the embodiment of her complete womanhood and the plight of her daily wages - everything about her has always been a matter of awe to me. I have always read their stories, wanted to know how their life would be inside those dingy rooms and red lipsticks.It may be because of this, that I sought to watch many movies that have spoken about it.( Some I could remember - Appu, Laaga Chuneri Mein Daag, Kanavu Mei Pada Vendum,Sringaram,Arengtram etc). With the same sense of amazement, i watched this film.

In the Flesh is a movie with a difference. It makes you travel with them. You see them forcing men to use condoms. You see them coax and sweet talk. You see them spread handkerchiefs and entertain clients. You see them speak with that aura of confidence over gender issues. You see a lady buy wine and dance around with her girl friends. You see a 60 year old, tie a bunch of keys to her saree pallu and wade of men who try to misbehave with her. You see the reality of pathetic their life is and how they still manage to smile and make merry. You see a enuch stand up and say I am a prostitute, and I like being this way.

And you dont forget the lady who says she does social service by being a prostitute. This film is a real realistic film. It shows you how difficult life can be. It shows you how insignificant we are in this sphere. It instills in me a new found respect for this clan of women who we have long neglected and long forgotten.

They have always been the epitome of what I can proudly call as feminism, in my sense. The sense in which there is no second thoughts of truly being a woman. A sense in which life is made a breeze although tornadoes continue to slash. A sense in which all said and done, slept and gone - you tend to respect the woman in her. Salutes to all those ladies out there, who have dared to do things no one else can and continue to do so.

P.S - This post, in no means is trying to promote prostitution or degrade culture. It is a clear expression of my feelings, after being through certain thought processes. All those who feel I am not "cultural" enough, please stay different. After all, opinions are meant to differ.

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

I am gonna be back

My last post was sometime in July. Although there are very few friends who read this blog, I am planing to keep it updated henceforth. There are about 5 - 6 posts in my drafts, and I will be posting them one after the another from today. I hope to maintain this time, with no interruptions. Lets see how far it goes.

To a more regular 2010!