To Hell, with The Good Indian Girl.

I was all of 22 when this question first arose. We had gone out to a nearby trek as a group and I chose to sit with a guy in a bus journey, who I was neither dating nor had any intentions to. Of course, he was not my brother or anyway related. Over the next two days, we spent time doing stuff together – waiting on each other at unknown bus stops, filling water bottles for each other, sharing one vegetarian dish over lunch ( cause we were the only two loners), being on one team in antakshari. He was also my personal photographer. The trip got over, and two days later I realized I had just stooped to an all time low from the good Indian girl I was.

Someone from the group assumed (rather stupidly) that I was trying hard for him and created an online photo album full of pictures of me and him.  Most of them were falsely cropped and edited as we did not take too many pictures together. This album was shared, rather secretly amongst the group until the guy in question saw them. He went berserk with rage and screamed choicest abuses. Of course we chilled it over with some good ice tea.

The good Indian girl does not have conversations with seemingly nice men and call herself friendly. She usually hangs out with the equally demented girls and is given wry and naughty eye stares, giggles and not mention flat, senseless comments when she does break the norm. She will call herself independent and will cross waters for a much rated elite education, however she will still be “at least hesitant” to go alone with a guy for a movie. It is to be understood that going to the movie is perfectly acceptable if initial hesitance is shown in melodramatic doses. A girl who refuses to be hesitant is usually labeled “loose” and more intensely called slut.

Her usual comments on love and relationship are heavily influenced from puke sweet doses of movies and any non-adherence to the usual map calls for a scrutiny on fidelity. If a couple break up, the anatomy of her relationship style is heavily examined. Not to mention, every one of her previous 9345 boyfriends become instantly lucky and the future 9346’s goat is a martyr. The first time I heard an account from a friend about how her roommate ditched her boyfriend (she was in a seriously depressing con called love) and got herself a “local guy”, I had doubts if the report was on a hooker. Oh no, if you call me exaggerated, I request you to email me for the whole story.

The rather demure girl has all her aspirations, dreams, hopes on a perfect wedding with her boyfriend (of course, only sluts or “impotent women” break up). Anyone like yours truly who has no ideas on her wedding is promptly ignored. I cannot remember the number of uninvited conversations I have been a part of, and the amount of vague confusion every conversation has led me into.  It is even more annoying when the said girl has interests in photography, design, sarees, mehendi, men ( in that order). All this pressure makes it harder to do simple stuff like listen to Adele without being questioned.

If I had to assume all this drama ends with the grand finale of a marriage, I cannot be more gullible. It almost continues all thorough her life with questions, wry glances, broken giggles, clandestine conversations, gossip filled pizza nights and transcends from the just graduate, to the new bride until it reaches the recent widow. And here, I am talking only about the peer group of women. They are mostly equally educated, equally fat with bank balances, and mostly of the same age. I am not taking the aunties who sit back home to gossip ( who, IMHO are more soft with thoughts/words), and I am not taking one whole half of the world into my observation.

This may be a rant to few but any woman who has nodded her head through knows what I am talking about. It is that unspoken worm, the creepy devil in every Indian woman’s head. That devil , which the society garlands and celebrates womanhood. To hell, with it. To hell, with the good indian girl. I am plainly sick of you.

The Eleven Questions Tag - Part Two

With the first one done, the second cannot stay too far! This set seems like a really tough question paper.  I am glad you are not a teacher, Keirthana.

Have you always had to struggle for most things you wished for in your life or was it a cake walk till now?
I should thank my stars, my parents and a whole lot of others - but really, I did not have to struggle much. Hard work, yes.

What are the kiddish qualities in you that you still nurture?
A whole lot of them. I do not call them kiddish though. Most of all, I am happy I can still be amazed and elated with small joys. 

Which was the first incident that made you understand the true value/meaning of love?
Hmm..when I saw Hum Aapke Hain Kaun and realised I simply had to love Salman Khan. He was my first crush. There are some reasons why we decided it wont work out :)

If you had one single wish (with which you cannot wish 3 more wishes), what would  you wish for?

To go on a all-paid trip making a show for TLC like Samantha Brown. I know, I should wish for forever happiness but hey, dolphins and air tickets make me happy. So ya, it is all the same.

When it comes to relationships, would you like the other person to be the dependent one or independent one?

To be interdependent on each other yet retain individuality and separate wardrobes. ( I would have asked for separate beds, but ya..!)

Ice-cream or Chocolate?

Chocolate. Anytime. Preferably dark.

Will you change for your loved ones or will you want them to accept you as you are?

Ahem..both ways. With certain folks, I am glad to take advantage and make them accept me in spite of my ridiculousness.

Have you ever done anything that is so not you? If yes, what did you do?

Yes. I patted a really cute dog. Just once. 

Logic or Magic?

Logic. With the exception of Harry Potter.

What talent you do not have but you wish you had?

Singing. I really, really want to be an excellent bathroom singer. One who extends it to the living room at times.

Theist, Agnoistic or Atheist?

A childhood theist turned rebellious teen atheist, now a calmer agnostic.

There are 22 questions for you to pick up. Do not be shy, choose your pick and do the tag!

The Eleven Questions Tag - Part One

Ahem..I just wanted to have a title like that with parts. 

Both Uma and Keirthana have tagged me for the 11 questions tag. So, I am going to sit and post answers to 22 questions in two parts. The idea of writing all 22 together makes me want to get back to my excel sheet. Also, I am very sympathetic towards you. These are Uma's 11 questions.

All these questions will be treated as 2 mark questions only, though some may make me write a little longer. I loved 5 mark and 10 mark questions in school because it allowed me to write. Ya, I was like that. It is only when it comes to this blog, my lazy aunt stepped inside.

Now, if you have better things to do on a tuesday afternoon ( sincerely hope you do), please pass this post. And allow me to kill you in your dreams.

Which was the recent book you read and what was your take on it?

I wish I had a super intelligent book to quote, but the last read was "Losing my Virginity and other Dumb Ideas" and I found it a very predictable, regular time killer. I bought this book and many more from Bhargavi and made mom carry it all here.

Karna or Bhishma?

Karna - for his fight upwards, the indomitable spirit, the steadfast honesty. Bhishma is one of my least liked characters in the Mahabaratha. 

Most memorable trip so far? Any anecdotes to share?

Has to be the June'09 visit to Munnar where we celebrated the brother's birthday midst of tea gardens and jaw-dropping backdrop.

Mountains or the Sea?

Ahem..Sea.I am the beach girl. No, I love high altitudes. I really cannot decide. Looking at these pictures did not help at all.

Dream/Ambition to accomplish?

To do something more productive with my interest in food than making dinner and lunch for just me.

What makes a good writer/blogger? Am I One?

The knack to weave the right words to capture attention and the ability to convey emotions in the right amounts makes a good writer, apart from a dozen other things. I am not yet one. 

Favourite Outfit?

On me - jean, with anything on it. I also love sarees.

On a guy - any white shirt with a blue jean. Two extra points if it is a white kurta.

Sachin or Dravid?

Dravid. I do not have too many reasons but always found him a very intriguing, intelligent player.

If you had the power to change one thing about yourself or your life so far, what would it be?

I would have ditched some people way earlier than I finally did or they did. Also, would really like to be two more inches taller. That's all.

Are you in touch with your best friend from school days?

Ahem, I never had a best friend in school. 

Our family friend's daughter was Swathi. School days remind me of her and she is married, mommy and all, we can still and talk like 10 year old's.

Favourite subject in school/college?

School, it was english. College, I enjoyed papers related to economics.

Done. Boo Hoo, I saved myself from the sword!

The not-so-brief hiatus

The not-so brief break is finally over. This is the longest I have been away. It was certainly not planned for. Ahem, I have posts in the drafts folder of my head. Hopefully, should bring them down soon.

By the way, I have shifted to a beautiful house and finally have a room on my own. It is beautiful, entirely mine and I feel like a kid every time I walk into it and get out. It is hard to explain this feeling.

This post is only a Hello post. So, will pick the receiver up and connect back really soon.

P.S : It was an award from Kismi that made me write this up. You are really too sweet a toffee!

Thursday Thirteen - India Trip To-Do list

I am going home. After 8 months. It does not count that my folks visited me over x'mas. They really did not bring the Marina beach with them, you know.

I am sitting at the terminal waiting for the gates to open ( I am so boring, I come early to airports) as I ramble this list off my phone, from my heart.

This list is certainly subject to a lot of change; and don't kill me if I don't end up doing one of these. Me and my disclaimers! Here you go :)

1. Visit a sunrise at a beach. I am positive I won't travel to marina for this; but so have to try and go to Bessy,at least. Done. Went crazy with clicking.

2. Buy some sarees. I am not a huge fan of it, but of late started to have a huge crush. I am going to fulfil my family's dreams by buying all I can before this crush wilts away too. Done. Got a beige on pink tassar silk for Vishu.

3. My bestest friend has a baby girl. I last met the baby as a just born and chickened out to touch her. So so excited to hold her. Done.She was happy with me. Did not cry.

4. Get my brother to start a blog/web page. He does not need a push, but a kick to get things done. WIP. He is a lazy ass.

5. Have a cooking date with Chitramma. I am so excited about this! Done. We chatted for long and ate Mango Rasmalai.

6. Street shop at Pondy Bazaar and buy some really cheap earrings. Done.I bought stuff for 400 rupess off platforms. Might proud of it.

7.Meet folks/friends I have not met in previous trips. I am pathetic in the keeping in touch business. Mid way. I still had three dinners to go.

8. Check the guava trees I planted years back. Yes. Yes. They are so beautiful now.

9. Bully the brother to create a header for my blog. It's not without a reason he works in design. WIP. Anything with the brother will be.

10. Get a good hair massage and a facial done. Big time wish. Done. Amma did both. Her wondrous hands.

11. Steal the brother's Nikon and go mad experimenting with my unbaked photography knowledge. Done. I clicked even the Hindu newspaper in various angles.

12. Try really hard to make a trip to sowcarpet. Absolutely no time. Next time wish!

13. Go on my Scotty over Anna Flyover! Was not allowed to touch my scooty. WTH!

Did I tell you I am going to a wedding at Varkala? Kerala is my most favourite place to go after chennai. Everything about that place makes me want to buy a small piece of land there and eat a mini sadhya meal everyday. I am sneaking in a trip for templing around trichy. All this and more in a work/vacation trip.

Typing from an airplane is more awesome than I thought it would be! Here it goes online; from the air!

Update: I am home, waiting for lunch to reach my plate. I am super overwhelmed to see comments waiting for me! This is a surprise trip and when I told mom I blogged about it; she has started to subscribe to my blog! Yay!

Here comes an Award!

Start the Music! Here comes an award. Now, just imagine one demented mind screaming up and down in joy. P.Subbu aka Prerna ( whoa, what a name - do you sing?) tagged and awarded me a month back, here I come with it!

Me, the versatile blogger - Did you like my boring stories on Facebook, or may be the one I babbled on turning 25 or was it one of those unplanned restauranttalks?

Whatever, my dearo – I am glad, you chose to give me this.

This award comes with a tag to write seven random facts.As if the name of this blog is not random enough. Dont blame me if you find this super boring. Subbu asked for it and you have come this far. So, please read on.

• I like reading instructions and details behind packets.It is one of my favourite pass times to walk into a grocery store and read through  packets of pasta, noodles, sauce and even detergents. I do this with no intention of buying any of those. 
• I have a sibling, whom I adore. Hold your breath, we have never had a single fight till now. No hitting, screaming or whatsoever. The maximum both of us have done is gone to sleep face down for two hours and woke up to amma’s scolding. 
• Someone groped me in a bus, and I dragged him to a police station. I was 19.
• I form judgements on people who fail to understand differences between a person's profession and his personal life. 
• I have worked on and created two proper, workable, investor wallet filling business plans with women enterprises. Empowerment of women through entrepreneurship is one of my interest areas, that I really wish to revisit. 
•  I have returned back a love letter because of a spell error. I have also refused to accept it when he came back with the second draft. 
• My only problem in English language is usage of articles. I have a terrible habit of mixing “a and “an” with the wrong words and am trying very hard to get over it. If you find a mistake, be polite and leave a comment on it. I promise to be thankful to you and send that magic candy through dreams. 

What is love, awards, tags and chocolates if not shared? So yes, here it goes – from me to you!

Versatility, here it goes. To the tagged ones here, you can choose to display the award and write random facts about yourself. If you have already written earlier, link back to it and leave a post.If you choose to ignore this award, it will not cause you seven years of bad luck or leave you with blood puking cancer. It is perfectly okay, if you do not want to pick this up. But do it, okay?

·    Archana– my name sake, the pretty one and mother of a Krishna baby. She writes on work , opines on fair and lovely and talks about cricket.All in one blog. And, she has another cooking blog too.

·    Anu –My first reader. Isha Follower. Happy, joyous soul. She has the knack to announce about whatsapp and facebookon a post and not make it blight.  Herpet peeves are to write about pets andsuper cool food ideas, like milk oil .Readher to admire the way she lives.

·    Sumitra– Just like how she has, I started reading her recently too. Else, I so could have tricked random.org, showed booo to Spiff and won the giveaway. You had me when you put up Joey on the about page. You moo, bark or yawn, I am all yours.She writes beautifully on marriages, has a funny bone on how hard it was growing up with a set of parents like yours (okay, not exactly but you get the idea), and in between sneaks a chocolate cake. Killer, I tell you. An Isha follower too!

·    MyEra – The kind of people you wish you could directly meet via the blog. Her stories have been so inspirational and truly moving. Read her posts on celebrating the human, her letters to daughter and as though all this moving talk is not enough, she writes recipes too!

·     Prashanth– Don’t you like it when men write honest posts about women issues? He writes on serious issues PMS,abortions with an adorable understanding, and makes one smile with a happy poem!

P.S: I know you did not ask me, but that header was flicked from Shabby Blogs. I will write a proper credit note for them soon. Till then, pardon the kid for some copyright issue.     

The Smarties in School

I am not sure if things like this still happen at schools. But then, yearly twice – these useless medical talks took place. The girls marched alone to a library or a classroom. A real boring looking doctor (mostly lady) came and explained about cycles, bikes and all that. We pretended to listen, and missed a period (math period only). The boys sat back in class working out (algebra).

“I told you da, that maths sir is always partial to girls” cribbed Badam Ram.

It is a day after March 8^th, let’s just assume 1996 or so. My recent second best enemy is now Ram .Please don’t get me wrong – I had nothing for him or against math at that age. I just could not handle the word partiality for this issue. It is a shame, and you will know why.

After exactly 45 minutes of lecturing, we were stuffed with a packet of you know what in neatly pink ribbon tied blue packets. All of us have had family induction sessions, and knew the story. Most loved being innocent and acted hush about it. On the other hand, there were people like Podi Priya ( as in paripu podi) and yours truly who liked calling a pad as a pad (exam pads included).

So, our conversation went something like this.

Badam Ram: Hey, what are you girls having in your hand?

Hush Girls: GO da, we won't tell you. It is for girls only. Not for boys

Nameless boys: As if, we are interested…As if!

Badam Ram: Hey, I think I know da..come here….( forms a gumbal)

Hush Girl Leader: Hey, okay…I will tell you ram, but you have to promise you wont tell anyone. Promise okay…This is a chocolate only for girls.

Huge amounts of oohhss, aahs and smirks. Priya gives a nasty look and says – Dai,  that is a pad da.

The ultimate me adds on – and, you can’t play cricket with it da.

Badam Ram pulls it from us, turns to his group of cricket buddies – Dai, evangulke theriyala. Adhu whisper! ( he says, in anything but a whisper)

*facepalm* BIG TIME MOKKAI!

Podi priya is from gult land, and always bought the most spicy paripu podis to school. I almost fell in love with her mom.
Badam Ram is my own name for a cashewnut. I do not like cashews, except in katlis.
gumbal - crowd, huddle as in cricket terms
evangulke theriyala - they are dumb.
MOKKAI - Er..dog bite. A systematic disorder of the human mind resulting in untimely spasms of meaningless words often having deeply anchored second meanings. Can also be used to describe a scenario where a party almost dog bites another's ears.

This post is heavily inspired by the total my previous post - The S(w)treet Love Proposal and a Veg puff and by a recent conversation with podi priya.

I realised there are way too many brackets here. Sorry ya!

The Mosaic Tag

When you are terribly stuck at work with no mood to finish anything, and all the priorities madeare totally screwed up, I try and pick up some tag and do justice to this blog.

The last week has been crazy. Juggling between deadlines, that never seem to meet. Friday comes, and I have happily scheduled my next week as I type this out.

The Mosaic Tag is very famous in flickr. And though I dont click, nor have a flickr account, I do gawk at photos. Infact, I have a brave thing for gawking at anything/anyone. Not any more on that.

The rules are pretty simple:

• Type your answer on Flickr search
• Pick an image, from the first page
• Form a mosaic with the images.

I have slightly tweaked the questions, here it goes

1. What is your alter name? Archie
2. What is your favourite food? Brinjal curries and Curd Rice
3. What high school did you go to ? Adarsh Vidyalaya
4. What is your favourite colour ? Blue. But, Black in Clothes.
5. Who is your celebrity crush? Certainly Prithviraj.
6. What is your favourite drink? Masala Tea
7. What is your dream vacation? Santorini, Greece
8. What is the most beautiful place you have lived? Nanyang Valley Apartments @ NTU.
9. What do you love most in life? Books
10. Favorite Dessert? Chocolate Trifles
11. What do you want to be when you grow up? A writer in any form
12. One word to describe you ? Cranky

and here is the picture :)

This post took so much time to go up because I kept changing the pictures. I chose the pig for Archie because the rest were all images of people, and prithviraj is so cute as a caricature. A little dorky, but I dont care!

It is surprising that my answer for what I love most, came as books on my mind. I have always loved reading, but never owned too many books after school. And now, NLB is there and I still do not own too much. I should start buying good ones, but yea...sometime.

Photo Credits from Flickr

1. Archie, 2. Brinjal vegetable, 3. Maharashtra Cadet Corps, 4. Blue, 5. Prithviraj , 6. Masala Tea @ Delhi Railway Station, 7. Santorini, 8. nanyang_valley_3, 9. Read Across America Day, 10. chocolate trifle, 11. Writer's Weapon, 12. PuzzLe !!!

Wanted

A friend like Phoebe Buffay. I love her. The way she handles things, and her absolute wit. I would straight go on my knees and ask her to be my friend, my buddy and my roomie. I can even make breakfast everyday. The wishlist goes like this..

- Preferably be within 25 years of age, and definitely unmarried.
- A BF is absolutely fine. However, BF's with clingy tendencies, or ones with the absolute need to be on the phone all night are frowned upon.
- Must have the ability to whack my back when I am down.
- Must have unmanageable hair.
- Must have had at least one scary experience in life.No, losing a phone and being stranded for 15 minutes is not counted as scary.
- Should know to live on street food, drink orange juice instead of water, cross roads on a rainy day without an umbrella, walk barefooted in beaches.
- Strict no for girls who act like daddy's princesses. (or mommy's girls)
- Should be nocturnal. I roast corn at 4am. Can be shared, though.
- Wit or Sarcasm should be her middle name. Esp, in dealing with people I hate. That is a lot of people.
- Must be able to dress up and leave home in 15 minutes.

I can go on and on. There are some friends to talk, some to hang out with and a bunch of absolute awesome girls I have. I was watching 'The One with Baby Shower' where Monica apologises to Sandra Green ( Rachel's mom) many times for not inviting her and she acts like she has not noticed at all. If you have ever been where Monica is, you will know the need for a Phoebe. The way she puts a stop to things. I louueee it!

16 year old Talks - Thursday Thirteen #1

I am sick of my lethargy in posting here. If I hate anything about myself at the moment, this is it - the inability to write regularly. So, I spent half of a monday :P morning browsing through ideas to keep my blog going. One of my favourite is tags. In case you still do not know what tags are, just go away to this post by Nags.

So yeah,be all ready to find me tagging myself. I am that shameless to keep this blog going :)

Another major idea ( yea, thts how I call anything I think of ) was to do regular lists like some kind of a series. I know it is not exactly saving the world, but it gives some kind of a pattern to posts (whatever!). One of it is Thursday Thirteen.

So what I will do is to post a list of 13 things every Thursday. And on what I will post will depend on my silly head. This week, I planned to post the top 13 foods I have cooked. But I wanted to add photos. And I wanted to link it to the recipe, if online. And I wanted to do this, that. So it is not happening for this week. It would be a nice separate post, than this list.

So here it is, all grand music and wild entry - My Thursday Thirteen #1

13 things I should tell to the 16 year old me : (or to any 16 year old)

1. Be proud of your choice to take commerce. You did the right thing.

2. Do not stop that meditation you do now. You will learn about Isha and get involved in it, later.

3. Get used to wearing sleeveless.

4. Learn about what 'taking backup' is. Do not lose any photos.

5. Start liking 2 minute maggi noodles. Its now or never. The 24 year old me still does not.

6. Join a dance class. You will regret you did not do it, later.

7. Continue with the diary. Do it in pencil, so that you can erase stuff.

8. Her hate for you is plain jealousy. It will come back as FB request years later.

9. Start washing your tiffin boxes. It is seriously sick to start doing it at 24.

10. The annual holidays you get now, is practically unheard of for the rest of your life. Sleep well. Please.

11. Learn to manage a dupatta, properly. The girl way.

12. Stop answering back amma for everything. Years later, you will sit miles away missing her.

13. DO NOT bother about your 10th marks. The world does not care anyway.

Updates

And yes, as Anu puts it, KPMG stole it away. The 30 day challenge ( do I even call it now, that way) stopped because I managed to get a job, in 9 days of starting this challenge.

Truth be spoken, the 30 day challenge was born out a lonely desperate afternoon. I was internally feeling rotten, and badly wanted to stop the bitch in me from taking control. In miraculous ways, it helped. I started getting ideas on writing about the place I lived, the kind of food I ate or hoped to eat and unearthing drafts. Kind of upset the plan was left off, ironically because I am now in a job.

Earning in dollars :) Someone I dearly know in Chennai told me to be a disciplined spender. Never had the word 'discipline' made more sense than my absolute lack of control at the recent BodyShop sale. I had to remove at least four different bottles, simply to teach myself some discipline.

Absolute lack of enthusiasm :) For the first two weeks, I moved like a kid. I loved the trains, the job, the food - everything about it. I still do, but my enthusiasm levels are sunk. Most times, it is the moment around that influences (read DECIDES) my mood. As one of Sadhguru's quotes go ( unable to recollect fully )- we pick pieces from people, and make us. It is so true. And I warn you, when you pick it from the wrong person, it lingers for a really long time.

Yet, Yet - I leave the post with this note. And look forward to be here really soon.

Source: traceysthoughts.tumblr.com via Vicki on Pinterest

Lapse of the 30-day challenge, and hello, home post.

The 30 day challenge is getting royally screwed up with such changes in life. I started the thirty day story on a frustrated, 'i-am-feeling-lonely' afternoon after a messed up lunch. Whoever would have thought that in 15 days, things would radically change and I would be typing across sitting in my swing :) Oh, I love this swing - will take a picture of it.

There are very few things I do not love about my home. Everything else,from my small room to the guava tree with a 100 fruits, I love it all. We live in an apartment where I have birds to wake me up to. No big royal kerala palace house, or even a city place I live in. But a real simple place to sleep and eat. As a matter, that is the only thing I do here.

In a matter of two weeks, things moved so fast - an interview, an offer, papers, tests and last minute tickets. Absolute no time for shopping, and certainly none for treatment. Sitting with a cold in India is like traveling all the way to Disneyland and then getting a leg sprain! After a bout of antibiotics, the cold refuses to leave. The fever is just bidding a bye.

Honestly, with such pampering and hour-to-hour meals, except if one had return tickets, none would leave. I will have to, coming weekend :(

Day One - The things I cant do..

I give up, in entirety to do these things in my life. I mean, they are seemingly simple that anyone raises an eyebrow when I struggle but honestly put, I can solve math than doing these.

The biggest and the most embarrassing is my inborn inability to open a simple plastic cover. The ones that come in rolls and are kept at supermarket vegetable aisles and expect us to tear along the perforation - I cant do it. I do most shopping alone, and it is highly annoying to be not able to do this. With a bag of onions in hand ( prepacked, thankfully), I sometimes sigh in exasperation to do this! Honestly, who ever invented such things? Why cant they just kept torn covers? Or, like my good old hometown, have stores where people will pack it after I ONLY pick it up! The whole idea of being called a 'super' market, with me having to do all the picking, packing, weighing is outrageous to me. Hail local veggie shops in India! Free curry leaves, too!

The next most toughest thing to the idiot in me is to poke a straw in a plastic takeaway cup. I prefer paper cups, tins and what else! This is a wonderful idea to carry a milo into a meeting, but I simply cannot poke it unless i spend 20 full seconds developing a strategy to attack it. The reality is that I simply dont care and flip the lid open to sip!

Temme, what fun is it to simplify things and make it so difficult? I know I probably have a queer disease, but simply my fingers are better solving valuations :) using excel!

P.S : And this my friends, is the first post of the 30 day blogger challenge. To make myself snap out of the 'head blogger'

The Head Blogger!

I am an officially screwed up blogger in my head. I cant stop thinking in reported speech or stop rhyming metaphors in my already rumbled brain. If there was any mechanism to directly transform a train of thoughts to a blog post here, then I am pretty sure I would jump at it. Also, that would give you a idea on what I am up to in the last one month.

I am hunting, searching and looking out for jobs. I am not desperate yet, but I know I will pretty sure be there. In between a couple of 'oh-you-are-not-a-PR' jobs and 'you-are-so-awesome,but we-cant-take you' and thankfully only one 'ok-we dont-like you', i am still hanging on.

I am resume wise potential, friends (and non-friends) wise searching, family wise paavam-kuzhandhai but I know, i know I am a total, absolute maniac. I keep blogging in my head when making dinner, crossing roads, billing groceries and buying books.

I need to get out of my head, open the laptop and log into this page to type.

And yes, I did the first draft in my head @4.25am today!

I say so..

No cooking show ever shows behind the scenes. It is such a pain to wash vessels. I feel like the housemaid already!

Student life is fun - only if you stay at home and amma cooks meals for you. Not so much, when you are to do it yourself.

Friendship is not having a cup of coffee or talking heart to heart for a hour.

I believe the only thing that life has missing is a pause button.

Unnamed

Drops of rain platter on my window
The sounds, the sights and the splatters in a row
Makes me fill a page with letters
Hear me out, write as earth smiles, as a pond bathes

Seeing it all, my heart glows in thrust
As it fills up a dying thirst
If seeing can make it shine
Will living in it make it rain

Oh screen of waters, the shower of poems
The smile of clouds, and scarf of drops
As the bridge connects skies and earth
My heart connects with its warmth
I hear her fill my heart, with drops
Not of tears, but to drown my fears
Came down as a loan from the skies
I feel with it my sadness flies
May be a short moment, until the rays pierce
But I live with the hope, thou shall wet me again/img/blank.gif
Until then, I write her praise
And wait for a drizzle so benign

Extremely inspired from - here and here and ofcourse, this! Photo Courtesy - The Roomie

Akshay Vohra made my day, by reblogging this poem on his blog. Lots of untitled poems on his blog too! You can find it here. Random acts of Kindness :)

Awrite, my muse. Take it on.

This post is random. Skip it if you have something very important. I know, you don't.

I want to shake hands with Celine Dion and thank her for doing the world so much good with music. "A new day has come" is like glucose injected through ear lobes. I have to start this much closer home. I have too many people to begin with in India.

I have not seen a butterfly in Singapore. A rare crow around. It is amazing the kind of things we miss once we leave home. The humble kakha! Listening to "Oh!Butterfly" now.

Cooking brinjals can be a witchy experience. I almost feel like a "kolakaari" when I throw them in hot oil. And i think of someone when they fry. I am becoming a bitchy witch.

Flying to India next month. Cant wait for sem break. I say that home, and paati "vayiru pozhaikum". This love stays.

My muse loves randomness. Did I say that, already?

And then...er...Super

Sometimes we are so stuck on some words, that it has to be used in all possible sentences. I wonder if I lack vocabulary or my mind reaches that "stuck" spot. Whatever it is, it is not very helpful. My recent obsession or lack of knowledge came when I was glued to the word "super".

A: How are you?
Me : I am super. You?

I guess that's pretty different compared to the mundane fine!

A: How is the whether?
Me: It is super. Rains today..Yaay!

Not bad too...

Mom: How was lunch?
Me: S...u...pp...ee.rr..I was super hungry then and it vanished!

Now, double usage!

Friend stuck at Germany with no Indian food: Hey,I am at this Indian resturant, where a roti costs Rs. 400!
Me: Super!
FSAG: Err..??

Weird me!

On a call with a client

Client: We have recently moved on to the XYZ market as we see it is more recession proof than ZYX where we previously lost close to a xxx dollars.
Me: Super, How would you say this move is likely to align the XYZ market scenario?

Embrassed!

Gosh, I only wish I can take a sabbitical from using such words, and build up on a more respectable english sense. And no, I am not the kinds who lacks usage of words as well. Wonder how it began, and Worried when it wil end!

And I met a guy!

I am inspired to talk about crushing after reading SP's rants. Me and my stints with guys have been absolutely uneventful, atleast till about a year. And crushing and just looking always sent wrong signals from me. I have been staying off the "sighting" scene for quite sometime now, but as girls would have it - that is when you see this handsome hunk!

My aunt has come down for a family function. She wanted to buy a blazer for my uncle and it was pretty important that she gets it in a day. So, I trotted along with her to Rex Fashions to get one done. We were there for about a hour, selected a particular piece and asked for a colour. He told the stock is only available at the Mylapore branch and that he will get it by 7.30. And he called promptly at 7pm and told me to pick it up.

I was in a loose fitting, printed, purple shirt and matched (!) it with a white pyjama with floral prints all over it. ( These details may not make sense to a guy, but it would to a girl after she reads the following lines). I was plainly lazy, as always to change into something more decent. So off I went ( this time with my 19 year old brother) to pick up the blazer.

As I walked in, I noticed the crowd was much higher than it was in the afternoon. Saw my reflection on a mirror and felt I look like the sweeper there. Nevertheless, wanted to get away from the place ASAP and asked for the blazer. Saw that the buttons had a foot ball team prints on it, and had to give it back to be fixed. As I turned off the section, I saw Him through the corner of my eyes.

Tall. Smartness Personified. Glasses, the kind that show a guy more handsome. A gray casual shirt. A slight dimple in his left cheek. And a absolutely high air of confidence. Was with his dad looking through formal wear.

Two mins pass by. Our guy disappears. Comes back in like twenty seconds. A light blue shirt with a black pant, he walks out of the trial room. Lifts his hand up, and shows a thumbs down sign. His dimples fall slightly, and his hair is now lightly messed. His dad waves back and shows a thumbs up sign. I wonder how his voice is.

Then he comes straight near me, stands for a good three minutes looking at a mirror. Axe Summer, I guess. I want my purple shirt to change into something more decent. And no words on the pyjamas, I want Mother Earth to swallow me now. I need m My brother now is looking a CSK shirt, and calls me to see how good (bad) it looks. I had to walk off, leaving the .......... alone.

The blazer is back. I walk down to the payment counter, pay the bill and walk out. I would have slept happily if it ended here. But as fate and my life would have it, we had to hear his voice that day.

A, Remember me? This is what he had to say. I was ... ( Forget it, I cant express it). And his voice was deep, manly and quite husky in the end. A huge ? on my face, and he helps. "Adi. Shankara School, Nature club". I am now lost, in my own world. And then, the worst had to happen. My brother jumps between us, and they do something like a high five, and Adi says - "Dad, this is B, my class mate at Shankara". Period.

Quite a lot of questions....some answers

Why do guys who are younger than me, look older to me? Early blossomers.

Why do such things tempt you in life? Sins.

Did Adi know about it? No. Unless he reads this blog.

Is this true? Yes, very much. I still cant forget that "just out of the trial room" thumbs down.

Am I sane, okay to be having this crush? I dont know, tell me!

:-(

And then you know what happened.......!

I was bugged, bored and single. Yes, in that order. I wanted to always understand how it happens, at what time, and with what level of intensity. Thts the story of this blog - and then you know what happened?

Two weeks back, I sent across a SMS to a whole lot of my friends. This was the message - "And then you know what happened". This blog is about the varied reactions, replies, actions, apprehensions, assumptions that took place after this message was sent.

17.45
I send as many as 30 messages.

17.47
A couple of replies from people - asking who is this? (I changed my number recently, so people dont know). Of course, i replied with a mini bio-data. Then, people asked, what happened?

17.55
What the hell happened da? Office'la problem'a? - My college mate

17.56
Hey, Accident?? Why do u take your vehicle and go?? - One other college mate

18:00
Kalyanama? wow ! eppo da - A very imaginative school mate~~

18.11
Hey Worst - enna de?? - a colleague now!

18.25
I am sorry, I dont get you - What are you talking about - a colleague, this time a guy - very courteous indeed!! :-)

18.27
And they lived happily ever after :-) - My cousin brother, who thinks he is Aseop and writes fables

18.28
I dont need to know now. U can buzz me aboutit after 3 hours. Entering a movie hall - A not-s o nice good friend!!

18.30
Enna? Blog crazy, please - can we talk something else? - A lovely friend, who reads my mind!

18. 32
One of those, who just recognised me with my new number - asks - "After what? After you changed your number?

And there this blog stood for 10 months. Today when I was revisitng my blog, I thought why not publish this post finally. It may change to send te same SMS today to friends, because by now people have mostly changed around, and no one really would mind if i do this today. Yet - it is amazing to note somethings in life. And so is this! Felt nice to read this back today, after 10 months!!