rather..parents are not so cute!
Of all
other things, India trips mean having to deal with noise. I am not acting posh
here, but it has been a long time I heard constant noise at home. My room back
home is like a four year old’s play pen. It is scattered with dangerous pointed
toys ( beyblade, lego blocks ) and the bed looks like a Barbie doll dressed in
pink. That cute and horrid.
I am no good with kids and have never had a
single kid smile and play with me. There is a mutual dislike and a “we are good 200m away from each
other” attitude. My family – dad, mom and the brother are the extreme (as it has to be). They
are like the kid friendly meals in Komalas. With smiley shaped sauce and all.
My brother can spend hours with a three year old watching random captain planet
shows and my dad can lift and play with any, any child. He terrorizes some by asking random calculations, but that is fun. Mom is a class apart. She donates my stuff to
them and makes badam cakes for them. She can also listen patiently about
parenting woes and offer free advice on potty training.
I can watch Tom and Jerry, provided I get the bean
bag, the remote and a plate of muruku. No sharing, please.
I was casually
mentioning this to a friend, when she pounced on my lack of compassion and love
for kids. No big offence, but I really
do not understand how we should find these cute, sweet and lovely.
·
A
four year old’s mom is super proud about how her daughter spells her name
perfectly. My mom was equally pleased
and made the kid spell is twice. The kid’s
mom also swears on some vitamin tablet crap for all this goodness.
What I say: Grow up and buy yourself a tape
recorder. Keep playing it all day. Don’t stress the poor thing. The same goes for making her repeat 1 to 50.
It is not funny singing ABCD too.
·
So,
M kutty is six years and walks to school (which is exactly 107 steps from
apartment) by herself. Her mom decides
to give her Glucon-D only for the sun
will suck all her water away. And this
brat will only have it cold. So her mom has to prepare and refrigerate it,
because ice cubes are bad for the baby.
What I say: Agreed, big deal. I needed help to
board an auto when I was six. But, please stop making her feel like PT Usha.
Anyways, 30 kilos is obese for that age.
·
B
Boy is now 2 years old. His parents are throwing a race car themed party. They
have really cute looking red velvet cupcakes with fondant icing. They had
costumes for kids and had hired motorcars for the kids who played bumping cars with arthiritis
ridden thathas.
What I say: Seriously, what is with these wealthy
parents? Why is your social status and confidence sitting inside that F1 costume
party? Also, do not blame him if he asks for an I pad and decides a sleep over party for 1st
standard pass ceremony.
Before you totally
declare me as a non-compassionate, insensitive jerk – this is what I do with
kids. The only sane way to live there is to give myself the pleasure of
conversations with semi-grown four year olds. That is, if I am stuck with them.
Read on and you will know why we have the 200m thing.
·
I
made the spelling bee champion listen to Amar Chitra Katha and made her spell
Duryodhana thrice. When I did this, I
held her hands and made sure she cannot run away. In my defense, I gave her
three M&M candies after she did it. I could have also made her spell the D’
king’s name but her mom took her back to feed her some memory pill nonsense.
·
M
Kutty was made to drink plain water and play in the terrace with me. That is,
she plays climbing up and down the stairs on her own. I wrote numbers with chalk piece on the
stairs, so she should do addition- subtraction math when she is on it. I
supervise her and read a book. And, for
some entertainment – I was even playing Endhiran songs. I am not that bad, na.
·
I wont attend any car party . What sense did it make for his mom to come home with
just two cupcakes? I did make him rattle
names of all those cars and make the vrooooomm sound. ( I also shared the
vroommm induction motor joke to his dad, who works with Ford and wished B to
become a mechanical engineer)
My logic is
simple. I can have conversations, treat them like young ones and be very good.
I cannot make them feel extra special, load their egos and act like they are
Adam and Eve’s kutty. They are not. The world is so full of children and so
many people are busy making some more. Why don’t you just understand that and be
normal towards them? Gah to all you folks who find them awww..ssoo..cute!
A Very
Important Note – All babies, semi grown-ups and moms addressed in this post are
real and not fictional. Any resemblances to second floor kamini’s kid surya or
to ground floor vidya’s kid arya are absolutely planned. Just those, none of them live in my
apartment.
This post has been selected by Blog Adda as a
Tangy Tuesday Pick!
Thank you, Blog Adda!
