The last few days are running around me. I am trying
very hard to move along that pace, and repeatedly, I fall. Then as if I am two
years old, I run again like a headless chicken.
There is too much to do; everyone wants a bit and
piece of me at work and no one seems to want me other than at work. I hate to
be wanted or to want someone. Both are dangerous.
I have realized that home sickness is by far the
secret reason why people take drastic decisions. It has all potential abilities
to kill a person from within. Cancer has some domestic company.
I smell radish in the air half the time. I smell vadagams inside a cab. I sniff for Sabena in my kitchen. I am missing stuff I never knew existed. Not food, but home.
I smell radish in the air half the time. I smell vadagams inside a cab. I sniff for Sabena in my kitchen. I am missing stuff I never knew existed. Not food, but home.
The feeling is similar to how the olive oil feels in
my feta cheese salad. It does not know if it has to coat the tomato, or stay
away quietly expecting my fork to kindle it. I don’t know too. I need separation.
To be away from where I am and what I do. I am not going to give you a
disclaimer that I love my job and all that..but yes, I want that Nikoi Island
place without a single man around.
Marriage is the single most defining thing in so many
lives. I am mere spectator variety. By the way, the recent facebook albums
surge are a pastime for many virgin girls. I have no clue when it is going to
come and hit me like a bus (think PAM expression of Phoebe). When it does, I
will also publicly announce it. Until then, do your head a favour and shut up.
I can be very violent at times.
I totally understand if it is impossible to comment. Sorry, will find my sense and come back soon.
I totally understand if it is impossible to comment. Sorry, will find my sense and come back soon.
*hugs*
ReplyDelete*hugs* right back. A gentle nudge and I will start lamenting again... Thank you :)
DeleteTrue, I'm not sure what to comment. I can totally relate to the picture though, I have those days too. They are not good. Hang in there.
ReplyDeleteThank you. It was tough, but I sat like a zombie through the day and had rest.
DeleteI think I understand what you're going through. This turmoil in mind can be catastrophic sometimes! But yeah, it's just days, a short period, a phase which has to flow by. Hold tight. :)
ReplyDeleteRachit,It is tough and not for a short period too. I m atryign to shove it aside, and so far been good. Thank you so much!
DeleteAh - misery has company. No pun intended. There are days where you feel "what" "where" "why" "huh" half the time and "duh" the remaining half..... my 2 cents - enjoy the solitude since it ain't gonna last for ever.
ReplyDeleteTell me about it. ?? all the way! Thanks!
DeleteSo.... have the past 2 days been calm enough for the chaos to settle down / for you to shove it aside with a kick? If not, "hugs" to make you feel better.
DeleteKicked it off :) Much better!
DeleteI know how you feel... I also went through the same.. Sending you a "jaadu ki jappiiii"... :)
ReplyDeleteAwww...thanks a bunch :) *hugs*
DeleteAre you feeling better now???? Hugs
ReplyDeleteYes, I am. I have also learnt that this blog is the best place to ask for help. Thanks so much :)
DeleteIt's depressing to even say this but I know exactly what you mean. And btw, marriage is never the end of anything. Once that happens, the next thing is kids!
ReplyDeleteIt is so funny that the same people who were super kicked about education, independence suddenly start talking about need for company, single girl in a lonely town kind. Ironic that the ones who crib about population/traffic also talk about making kids - one, two at that. SAD! Thanks for dropping by :)
DeleteFirst time here, not sure what to comment at this post.
ReplyDeleteBut you know, I actually feel what you have described above almost all the time. That confused chaos, uncertainty. Been there my friend!
Its a frequent and repetitive phase, but it passes soon. Hugs and God bless you.
Love,
Soumya
Thanks :) Its so reassuring to know so many feel this way. Sadistic may be, but calming. Thanks for dropping by.
DeleteLoved the blog…
ReplyDeletebangalorewithlove.com
Thank you!
Delete