The Eleven Questions Tag - Part Two

With the first one done, the second cannot stay too far! This set seems like a really tough question paper.  I am glad you are not a teacher, Keirthana.

Have you always had to struggle for most things you wished for in your life or was it a cake walk till now?
I should thank my stars, my parents and a whole lot of others - but really, I did not have to struggle much. Hard work, yes.

What are the kiddish qualities in you that you still nurture?
A whole lot of them. I do not call them kiddish though. Most of all, I am happy I can still be amazed and elated with small joys. 

Which was the first incident that made you understand the true value/meaning of love?
Hmm..when I saw Hum Aapke Hain Kaun and realised I simply had to love Salman Khan. He was my first crush. There are some reasons why we decided it wont work out :)

If you had one single wish (with which you cannot wish 3 more wishes), what would  you wish for?

To go on a all-paid trip making a show for TLC like Samantha Brown. I know, I should wish for forever happiness but hey, dolphins and air tickets make me happy. So ya, it is all the same.

When it comes to relationships, would you like the other person to be the dependent one or independent one?

To be interdependent on each other yet retain individuality and separate wardrobes. ( I would have asked for separate beds, but ya..!)

Ice-cream or Chocolate?

Chocolate. Anytime. Preferably dark.

Will you change for your loved ones or will you want them to accept you as you are?

Ahem..both ways. With certain folks, I am glad to take advantage and make them accept me in spite of my ridiculousness.

Have you ever done anything that is so not you? If yes, what did you do?

Yes. I patted a really cute dog. Just once. 

Logic or Magic?

Logic. With the exception of Harry Potter.

What talent you do not have but you wish you had?

Singing. I really, really want to be an excellent bathroom singer. One who extends it to the living room at times.

Theist, Agnoistic or Atheist?

A childhood theist turned rebellious teen atheist, now a calmer agnostic.

There are 22 questions for you to pick up. Do not be shy, choose your pick and do the tag!

Old Post Alert: Castes - When did we fall apart?

I had a fairly secular childhood with no strong infulences of any caste, no discrimination at all. My amma had friends of every imaginable sect, and we as a practice never spoke of others personal habits in a derogatory manner. Amma never kept food away from any house. It was not a habit to not eat food from "other caste" houses. I still love Anne aunty's avials and Shymala Aunt's nendrampazham halwas.

Once again, with no special purpose - my schooling and primary college education happened in a hindu institution, and yes it was brahminical. I did have CCA classes singing Vatapi Ganapathim, and wore pattu pavadais, ate sundals during navarathri. My school had a opening day ( the first day school repoens after summer holidays)homam, and I loved sitting there, with my eyes closed fervently praying to Ganapathi, and asking blessings from all the others there. Half of my school life went on knowing when amavasyas occured, and on why guys had avani avittam off. At the home front, I was told Ramayana, Mahabharatha and we watched Krishna on DD every sunday. Thatha was a expert story teller. He knew the art of weaving Draupadi's vasthra abhaharnam ( yes, i learnt sanskrit too) , meaning - taking the vasthram(cloth, essentially meaning saree), off( abhaharnam) with the case of how every woman is stripped off dignity in modern today. He spoke on Ramunajar, the Alwars, the story behind them, took me to temples and spoke on the sthala varalaru ( the legend of the place) and made me read shlokas( divine verses) almost every day. When Thatha went to the USA, Amma took over his place, and it was a habit to prayfrom 6:00PM to 6:10 PM everyday till I finished schooling.

As much as the previous paragraph speaks on my idealistic, religous woven, and of course casteistic childhood, it never came to me that way! It was not meant to. i have invited quite a few Nancy's and Nazarina's home, who and hear to Mahabharathams and eat my amma made rasams. They never felt they were at one of those brahmins homes, and we never felt it was a Nancy eating off my plate. Knowing Draupadi was not to worship Krishna in my family. It was to realise that as a woman, I need not respect my husband (s) always. She never called any of the 5 warriors to rescue her. Somehow, my childhood never had any traces of a caste, iyers, iyengars, christians, and the much derogatory term of non-brahmins. I dont recollect the usage of the work at all during my growing up years.

College happened to be at one of those elite, vaishnav funded institutes, where by all means - there is no influence of any caste, except getting only vegeterian food in canteen and having te words in the college's name, neither of which can influence me in any strong manner.

With all that there, I am now wondering where it all begin. I am trying to recollect when the question of my caste started becoming a part of my identity. Was it when I started talking about amma's samayal, and that i dont eat meat? Or, was it when I said non-veg, and unconciously discrimnated a friend of mine, or was it the day i spoke at length about the rituals and traditions in a marriage, once again absolutely unconciously bringing in a notice of - "Enga edhula..."( edhula refers to my caste). When did all this begin?

As a person, I highly respect any religion, caste and creed. A lot of others around me do so too. There has not been a single incident in my life where we have been made felt in any superior, or given any special priveleges for being a brahmin. We have not formed websites, ( other than for religious purposes) to promote our community. We do not convert people, or show any resistance to others practicing their schools of thought. Nor have we muttered a word when the madisar was shown as a sexy attire, or when mamis were made to be the modern sex symbols. We also kept quite mum to all those rants of being called a thayir sadham.Infact,some like me still do not mind being called one,though my lunch box has never carried it in the last 1 year.

I am sure almost all of us have seen such instances around, but either we decided to vent it out with the virtual world, taking sides and supporting our faiths- being true brahmins or otherwise, as the case may be. We have started taking sides now, with almost everything.

When I found too many people speaking the same thing in different ways, I thought it is high time I say what I have to. This is a retort,not for a caste that rules the blood, but for the head that is now sensible enough to think. It is high time we listened to music as just swaras together, and saw movies appreciating the art, if there is any. A secular nature of mind is so important to report to a Laura at Florida, get the assistance of Mudassir at work place and still remain a Ranganayaki.

If not to protect your identity, atleast to carry what ammas and thathas wanted to - A sense of blissful understanding, with no differences in caste, creed and sect and using only two possible reasoning skills in making relationships - The Heart and the Head - not the blood!


P.S : This post was originally published in 2009 after a heavy debate with a colleague on castes, the supremacy of Tambrahms etc. I happened to read a series of blog posts today on how conservative the caste is, and somewhere this struck a chord. Today, I find this post half amateurish, and the rest mad. Yet, the point was to remain secular. Let me add agnostic to it now. It is still a surprise how I became one.

The Eleven Questions Tag - Part One

Ahem..I just wanted to have a title like that with parts. 

Both Uma and Keirthana have tagged me for the 11 questions tag. So, I am going to sit and post answers to 22 questions in two parts. The idea of writing all 22 together makes me want to get back to my excel sheet. Also, I am very sympathetic towards you. These are Uma's 11 questions.

All these questions will be treated as 2 mark questions only, though some may make me write a little longer. I loved 5 mark and 10 mark questions in school because it allowed me to write. Ya, I was like that. It is only when it comes to this blog, my lazy aunt stepped inside.

Now, if you have better things to do on a tuesday afternoon ( sincerely hope you do), please pass this post. And allow me to kill you in your dreams.

Which was the recent book you read and what was your take on it?

I wish I had a super intelligent book to quote, but the last read was "Losing my Virginity and other Dumb Ideas" and I found it a very predictable, regular time killer. I bought this book and many more from Bhargavi and made mom carry it all here.

Karna or Bhishma?

Karna - for his fight upwards, the indomitable spirit, the steadfast honesty. Bhishma is one of my least liked characters in the Mahabaratha. 

Most memorable trip so far? Any anecdotes to share?

Has to be the June'09 visit to Munnar where we celebrated the brother's birthday midst of tea gardens and jaw-dropping backdrop.

Mountains or the Sea?

Ahem..Sea.I am the beach girl. No, I love high altitudes. I really cannot decide. Looking at these pictures did not help at all.

Dream/Ambition to accomplish?

To do something more productive with my interest in food than making dinner and lunch for just me.

What makes a good writer/blogger? Am I One?

The knack to weave the right words to capture attention and the ability to convey emotions in the right amounts makes a good writer, apart from a dozen other things. I am not yet one. 

Favourite Outfit?

On me - jean, with anything on it. I also love sarees.

On a guy - any white shirt with a blue jean. Two extra points if it is a white kurta.

Sachin or Dravid?

Dravid. I do not have too many reasons but always found him a very intriguing, intelligent player.

If you had the power to change one thing about yourself or your life so far, what would it be?

I would have ditched some people way earlier than I finally did or they did. Also, would really like to be two more inches taller. That's all.

Are you in touch with your best friend from school days?

Ahem, I never had a best friend in school. 

Our family friend's daughter was Swathi. School days remind me of her and she is married, mommy and all, we can still and talk like 10 year old's.

Favourite subject in school/college?

School, it was english. College, I enjoyed papers related to economics.

Done. Boo Hoo, I saved myself from the sword!