How good
are you at taking a genuine compliment?
Rather, how
often have you heard a genuine compliment?
For one, I
suck at taking it graciously and another, I hear is very rarely too. Recently
when a group of us met for dinner, a friend casually mentioned my style of
making potato curry is what appeals him the most. He went on to share the list
of horrible potatoes he has had and compared the best ones with my version. I
should have preened and smiled but all I did was to keep negating him. This was
how my mind worked.
My
Mind : What is the big deal with a
potato curry? I mean, it is not like making French macroons with fancy fillings
or wait, like making swissrolls.
My
alter-arch : (yup, she lives within me and makes uncanny appearances): Damn,
this point only proves I am more domesticated now. Sigh!
My original
fairy self: Oh God, I am feeling uncomfortable now.
To those
who think he did go overboard – no, he did not. He was very plain and mentioned
it in the utmost friendly manner. Why, why do I have to sigh at a compliment?
I have
never really received too many compliments in the looks department. And in all
honesty, I have not been too bothered. It is like no girl who visits a library
has the time to manicure nails. She probably believes in sitting by a bench and
daydreaming. At least I did. And then, I got hit by the new wave of girls who
look awesome all day. Now, it is not just important that I make devilish potato
curry and read Steele ( who, btw is not my favorite), I also have to look
decadent and nice.
I did. I
fell in love with Bodyshop
and made friends carry shikakai
powder and generally became more pleasant looking. Months later, a
compliment came by. A co-worker generally commented on how beautiful my hair
is. Even writing beautiful and my hair in one sentence seems like a joke to me.
But yea, she really did. I knew she meant it.
My Mind : Yup,
this my dear is your crowning glory moment (quite literally)
My
alter-arch: Wait, did she not see the dandruff? Or, is she being sarcastic?!
My original
fairy self: Oh God, I am feeling weird but nice.
I am slowly but effectively becoming the girl who has shiny hair, manicured nails and still visits a library. Yaay, to me!
On a semi
honest note, most people rarely know how to graciously accept a compliment. Most
preen over it and go on to talk about how perfect they are ( or their potato
curry is) and the rest act arrogant. I will be very surprised if you have not met
such folks in your life. The loveliest way to accept a compliment is a smile. Only if asked, give details on the shikakai.
On an
extremely honest note, I think we suck at giving compliments. (esp women).You
know why.
P.S : The
author can’t do much if the general tone of this article is not acceptable to
you. In fact, she is not even bothered.
P.P.S :
Let me know if you want shikakai podi
from Chennai. I know someone who makes it too well. Okay, back to playing mum.
I suck at taking compliments. You at least negate it. I end up laughing. Which is worse. :/ I'm trying to gracioulsy accept it with a "Thank you" and a smile these days.
ReplyDeleteBut with really close friends, the ones who've known since forever, I just reply with a 'I know'. :p
Spiff, you made me spill it out. I do the " I know" too. I negate everything with everyone. Precisely the reason why folks hate me nowdays :)
DeleteRightly pointed out Arch. We girls suck at giving compliments. But what I am happy about is how you are becoming one with perfectly manicured hands and still going to library because I am yet to learn this trick. Now though I haven't seen your hair but I believe in the compliment your friend gave so I need details of shikakai :)
ReplyDeleteHe he :) Let me keep this routine up for a few more weeks. If it truly does work, will mail you all details! Manicure and me is a story by itself. I have the shortest nails in the world. Really.
DeleteHahah the times I receive a compliment. I just give a sheepish smile. There's not much I can do about it, weird enough. And sometimes I get so clumsy whilst thanking them.. Hahaha beautiful shiny hair sounds good..Old herbal wonders eh..nice :D
ReplyDeleteCS, he he.I know that. I am giving one now :) It is not yet to beautiful. Shiny yes, dandruff, double yes :(
Deleteoh yes, even I suck at accepting compliments. Liked the part about having manicured hands that read a book :-) But I do pay compliments :-)
ReplyDeleteUma dear, I am reaching there. For now, my fingers look like a teen girl who has just learnt to apply nail colours.
DeleteNow you just made me want to go eat some potato curry :D
ReplyDeleteAhh, receiving compliments, yes I used to suck at it too. But now I'm able to quite well. All it takes is a simple smile and a 'Thank You' and then believe them whether they were being genuine or not. Doesn't hurt to believe something good about yourself right?
You are a very pretty girl, by the way :)
Ahem, you are right. It never hurts a bit. Just that Ms.Gracious is taking a backseat.
DeleteThank you :) and go have some potato curry!
Very rarely do I take compliments seriously. Although I read somewhere that the only way to respond to a gift and a compliment is with a simple Thank you. I realised its importance when I once complimented someone and she said I was faking it!! Really, even if you think the other person is faking it, just accept and acknowledge gracoiusly!
ReplyDeleteOMG! This has happened to me too. Can be so annoying. Graciousness is the word,nisha!
DeleteSame here.. I could relate to it totally.
ReplyDeleteI don't get what to say..I just smile, with a weird expression on my face.. sometimes i come up with silly statements like, "do u really think so?"
I mean, after that I waste thinking about what I could have said instead :-/
I had actually googled bout it once :P
"what to reply if someone says you're beautiful"
"how to take compliments"
and all google came up with were usual statements like "Thats so sweet of you, I'm flattered".. I mean, nothing new! huh !
huh! why are seemingly easy things so hard to do! :) Thanks for dropping by!
DeleteAh, you have brought out the truth ;) Before, I never knew how to react to compliments and ended up replying something stupid or laughing. Slowly I conditioned myself to just smile and say Thank you. And yeah this way is a lot better than making a fool out of myself :) And beautiful shiny hair huh? Makes me jealous... I have given up hope on my hair. Both my maternal and paternal genes are in full action when it comes to hair fall and lousy hair. Sigh! Have to live with it!
ReplyDeleteKeirthana
K, let us just pretty girls suck at it :) Dont get me started on the genes thing :P
DeleteArch, time to taste that lovely potato curry! :D And yeah, I definitely want that shikkakai powder now! And manicured nails, that's a big dream! ;)
ReplyDeleteBut how much I try to dress well, I invariably end up in my baggy jeans and loose fab india kurta's on at least 3 out of 6 days! hehe..They are just too comfortable I say! But great going with the dressing up! We should shop together soon! (:
We shud meet up at my new place for lunch ( ya, showing off!). Never underestimate the baggy jean, I say!
DeleteSometimes, it depends on who gives those compliments :) Is it your mom, your co-worker, your spouse, or some random person...makes a lot of difference.
ReplyDeleteOh yes! and the ones who count rarely give any!
DeletePlease, I want shikakai details :P I just want to say that word a hundred times and feel like I just flew home ! :) Really!
ReplyDeleteI know about the library and manicure part - sigh! But like you said, I try to balance it during inspired moments :P
Lemme mail you :) My inspired moments are so few, really1
DeleteI am slowly but effectively becoming the girl who has shiny hair, manicured nails, gets inspired, loves to cook and still visits a library.
ReplyDeleteA BIG Yaay, to Arch!:)
dont worry about the tomato chunks..they need to be just well cooked..thats all...so that you get rid of the raw flavour... if at all it's fine, coz you still cook the paste in oil lastly na...
Which amma doesnt compliment her daughter?
SO sweet of you my girl!! :)
Yes yes, you are! Going by your gorgeous pics!
DeleteAmma loved it. I made her this chutney, tiffin sambar and ven pongal and went to pick her up from airport. Loved loved it :) Winner recipe!